Regras da Diplomacia

Here are some rules imposed by the "Western world" for talking about the Middle East

Rule 1

In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs that attack first,and it's always Israel who defends itself. This is called "retaliation".

Rule 2

The Arabs, whether Palestinians or Lebanese, are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "terrorism".

Rule 3

Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians; this is called"self-defense", or, these days, "collateral damage".

Rule 4

When Israel kills too many civilians, the Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "reaction of the international community".

Rule 5

Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even a limited number, not even 1 or 2.

Rule 6

Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (Palestinians: around 10000 to date, 300 of which are children, Lebanese: 1000s to date, being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. All that is needed is the magic word: "terrorism".

Rule 7

When you say "Hezbollah", always be sure to add "supported by Syria and Iran". (Bush said this eight times in a recent speech.)

Rule 8

When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK, Germany, and other European countries", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict.

Rule 9

When it comes to Israel, don't mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience of Fox.

Rule 10

Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "neutral journalism".

Rule 11

If you don't agree with these rules or if you favor the Arab side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion(isn't democracy wonderful?).

Rule 12

If you are anti-Zionist because you can not support any apartheid state, let alone because of what the Israelis have done to the Palestinians (1948 and ever since) and the Lebanese (several times already but never (?) quite as outrageously as 2006), you are still an anti-Semite even though the Arabs are also Semites.